Friday, March 2, 2012

Disappointed

I had my appointment with my PS today.  After the last appointment I had to wait to get another fill, so I really expected to get a fill today.  But no.  Although Ive had no redness for atleast a week as soon as I undressed in the plastic surgeons office there was the redness again! What the heck!? So he comes in and looks and pokes and pinches and then tells me we cant expand anymore, the skin under the left breast is just too thin.

he said the upper inside skin of the breast had room so his plan would be to open that up during surgery to accommodate the larger implant (im 200 ccs now and the moderate profile implant for my breast diameter he used the expander for is like 300 ccs. just a reminder here - I was filled to 200ccs at the time of the first surgery. I believe I was at around 300 (planning to go to atleast 500 when I got the infection.) they had removed over 400 ccs of tissue in surgery. now IM only going to get to 300.

He said we could revisit in a month but it's unlikely he'll change his mind. He suggested I could go ahead and schedule my exchange surgery. they offered me the last two Fridays in May any Friday in June or July. so I will have to figure out the best time to do it.

IM really disappointed about the size. but I guess I will just have to get over it. maybe I will like them more when I have the silicone implants?

I know...atleast I've significantly reduced my risk of breast cancer. don't get me wrong, I know how huge that is, it is just sometimes people talk about how getting nicer boobs is a perk of going through all this, but at this point that doesn't seem to be the case for me. butmaybe if I assume I would have gotten cancer, and if I was lucky enough to survive it, I could also assume with all the cancer treatment and every thing my out come would be worse. I guess the thing to keep in mind is the no longer assuming I will get breast cancer.

I'm sure I will come to terms with all this eventually.

2 comments:

  1. I am sorry to hear that. You are entitled to be disappointed and don't feel bad about. You don't have cancer and had hopes for something that didn't come true. I hope eventually it'll get easier. I say this now, thinking about my own surgery looming over my head in the next six months. Your blog has given me info and a lot of questions to give my own PS. Good luck!

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  2. I'm sorry you're disappointed, but that is completely understandable and realistic. I hope you do like them better when they are silicone.

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