Thursday, June 28, 2012

Feeling amazing in my clothes

I just realized how amazing I'm feeling in my clothing.  Ever since my mastectomy in October I've been wearing multiple layers on my upper body.  After the mastectomy it was bandages and binders and tank tops covered by zip up sweatshirts, then when I was boobless it was really the peak of layers since I had to have something soft between my skin and the fake boobs (usually a thin tanktop or bra)then a bra to hold the fake boobs then a camisole to make the shape look more normal and hide them then a shirt or blouse over the camisole then usually some form of sweater to further disguise the odd shape.  Then once I got the expanders the layers were pretty much the same except the fake boobs and the extra bra.  But I still did bra, camisole, shirt, and sweater. 

Thank goodness that was through the winter!!!   Now that its summer I can't imagine having all those layers.  I don't know what it was with my nipples with the expanders but they pretty much constantly stuck out and were weird looking.  After the exchange surgery, my soft sports bra actually flattens them out just fine.  So today I am wearing a soft sports bra and a loose sleeveless top, and it just feels amazing.  The gap between my breasts is far more natural looking than it was with the expanders.  Same with their shape in general, so I'm not too concerned with hiding them. 

Now the only thing making me uncomfortable is the 30 lbs I've gained over the last 2 years... I'm more concerned with hiding my belly than my boobs.  I've also gained bulk in my upper arms, so now that it is tank top season, that is going to take some getting used to.  I'm definitely going to start exercising soon. 

Anyway, I just wanted to share... I feel liberated from my bulky clothes and layer upon layer of fabric used to conceal my upper body.  It feels great.  I've even started to consider the possibility of going braless since my new boobs hold themselves up.  I'm going to wait though until I feel like they've settled.  I still kind of feel like I need the bra to keep the implants from drifting.  But once thats past - watch out!  It will be a whole new world of strapless and backless tops that I never considered wearing before!  Hey, there might as well be some "perks" to all this right?

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