Today's post-op appointment

Today I had a follow up appointment with the plastic surgeon.  I don't know why I had fooled myself into thinking perhaps I'd get a fill today, but he was just looking at stuff today so I was a little disappointed (ok.. alot disapointed), though I realize after the fact that it had been unrealistic to hope for anything different.

Unfortunately the right one was a little red, which isn't what we would have expected since it's the left one that has been giving us trouble so far.  But he thinks the redness is due to stretching rather than infection, so we'll just keep an eye on it.

He gave me clearance to wear a soft bra for now.  Once the redness goes away we'll look at getting a good underwire bra to work on shaping the pocket.  He commented that at 100 ccs in the implant and 50 ccs for the implant itself, I was at about 150 ccs, and if we had to stop there we could.  I didn't like hearing that, I feel WAY smaller than I want to be.  I would not be pleased to remain at this size!

I think because I was feeling so good (compared to this point after the prior surgeries) and because I don't have drains, I was expecting other things to progress along.  I wanted him to be impressed by how I was doing (and ask what my secret was and I'd tell him about the cinnamon) and he'd decide to do a fill and give me hopes of achieving the breast size I had always wanted!  But none of  those things happened, and after the doctor left the room, I cried. 

It was a little awkward, because the doctors assistant came in to give me my prescription and seemed startled to see me crying, and then she told us we could have a minute, so I tried to get it together, and then we went out in the hall and the esthetician came up and gave me a coffee mug with a certificate for a free facial or microdermebrasion.  Part of me pondered if after the assistant came in and saw me crying she went out in the hall and  got the esthetician and said "quick.. she's crying... give her something!".   hehe.  They were probably planning to give it to me anyway, and it just happened that she caught me crying first.

Anyway, again I need to remind myself - its only 3 days after surgery.  I need to rest and heal and give myself a break.  I need to be more patient.  I don't want to give my new boobs performance anxiety! I just need to let them do their thing....